Nov
28
2003
0

Orgasmatron (echo: …tron…tron…tron…tron…)

Some dude came up with a method to hook two wires into people and give them orgasms. Apparently it can help women who are frigid and people who have suffered spinal injuries. Who cares! Give me some of that orgasmic goodness! Oh shit, the gf is here.. no darling there is nothing wrong with our sex lif… no… I’m fine with you.. no I don’t want another woman… no… oh shit…

(fade to black…)

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Nov
27
2003
0

Viruses and Bacteria

… are something I know nothing about. Can’t even tell them apart. Something to do with viruses being bigger and a lot more complicated? Anyway. I seem to have just been through a spate of flu and now I’ve got a fever because of a sore throat. Spot the virus, win a washing machine.

Friday I started feeling bad and after 4 days locked in a room with the girlfriend I’m still sick. By the way, she was ill too so no nookie (crap ain’t it). Then I feel slightly better and I’m shipped off to site to fix something. At least it’s fixed. So I get back and I’m swarmed upon by everybody. Whoa people give me a break. A week of questions is not something that can be dealt with in a day. What? “Just who do I think I am?”. Well, you try it.

Damn, can’t get no respect.

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Nov
27
2003
0

Been reading SlashDot again

AAAAAAAAND…. there’s tons of stuff going on. Jeez, I think I am close to losing my ‘wisest man in the universe’ status. So, without further badly spelled ‘ado’, off we go:

The earth’s magnetic field may be reversed! AAAGH!. Does that mean my hair will start falling upwards as I lose it? Does it mean the water will swirl the opposite way when I flush the toilet? Does it mean pigeons will home in on… uhm.. what? And poor turtles, will they give birth to their eggs in Antarctica? Oh… I just don’t know. Woosh over and read all about it.

Christmas: IT’S NOT CHRISTMAS YET. WTF is wrong with everyone?! The decorations were up since November 1st. Are we really so totally controlled by idiots and money guzzling commercial operators? Dammit people, you do not need a month and a half to go out and buy a present for your children. Leave something for Santa to do….

Which links famously to my next subject:

Christmas photos being sent over email. I got 7 of those and here is the only one that is worth something: [edit 2013: image long gone – it was of santa delivering presents]
Cool or what? Why should he bother anyway, it’s pointless. We all know he would be vaporised if he could go fast enough to deliver all those presents. Maybe he should work from home and do e-bay.

Which links famously to my next subject:

Is working from home your dream? Read and learn. Apparently the need for social interaction is such that all these people recommend going out daily. What?! Every day?! Damn, that would suck. I remember living indoors for a month only going out to buy kebabs. My most creative month ever. I produced one of the most teen-angst, manic depressive sites ever made. But hey, I can’t tell you what it is since I don’t want to show who I really am. Heh heh. [edit 2013: goes to show how privacy has dissappeared nowadays]

Which does not link at all to my next subject:

We dump too much coffee in the sea! Uhm.. noooo… not like oil, like.. sewage. Yay! Finally a good reason to stop this evil drink taking over our lives! I don’t drink coffee myself because when I do I think my head spins around its axis and will eventually come off. Quote:Need a lift in the morning? Have a refreshing glass of seawater!” Seawater… or sewage? Bleagh

Which also does not link to my next subject (maybe I should give up):

My webpage got (wait for it…) 29577 hits since 2003-09-01 (YYYY-MM-DD). Which is not possible. Simply because the page hits are… well much less. I think it’s a bunch of Tolkien pictures I put up. I should hook up a link to the main site and log access to them. I think everybody is hotlinking to them. *Grumble* I pay for bandwidth *Grumble*. At least people like what I put on the web 🙂 Which is not common. Since I am the only one reading my blog (how vain can you be).

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Nov
20
2003
0

Love life, love yourself

I came across this flash animation which made me feel pretty guilty for about 10 seconds. Which is a record, right up there with some of those african-starving-kids you get on TV. Take a look.

Seen it? Good.

I am a fan of meat myself but I am appalled at the methods mentioned in that site. I hope that the situation is not really as bad as that. And… there’s no way I’m gonna ‘go veg’. Who knows where their food comes from nowadays anyway…

Hmm….

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Nov
20
2003
0

Promoting the web-connected office

I have now used PhpBB2 to create forums for work. They seem to be very successful with anyone I asked. Let us hope nothing will come out of the woodwork when I demo the thing next week.

I also got a wiki in there. Hopefully the amazing use of it as a KB for installation and support (not to mention development) will become evident. I ended up using pmWiki as OpenWiki gave me garbage in the mySQL database with register_globals turned off in PHP. Techies will know what I mean :).

And guess what! Yes ladies and gentlemen, I will also be promoting a developer blog! Since no decent PHP+Mysql blog is around I’ll just woof up my own. Hopefully it will be successful 🙂

Then I will be moving there and leaving blogger behind (sniff sniff).

So, wish me luck everyone!

-G

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Nov
19
2003
0

Two weeks of squeeze

Been on site for most of these past two weeks. “Go there and fix it” they told me. And so I did. Go, that is, not fix it. Mainly because it was so broken I get the feeling it will never be fixed. Then I get back here and they say, “well, shiver me timbers laddie, you have to go again, it failed the test”. So I go. Again. And it still doesn’t work. Only now it doesn’t work less, excuse my syntax… *Sigh*

Got back this week and finally managed to get in the zone.. you know that place where you work fast and well and nothing else is there for you other than your work and… *ring* oh. Pardon me, my phone is ringing. Hm? Yes. Ah… new problems? Ah…. *urgent* problems… ? What? Meeting in half an hour? Sure, no problem. *Hangs up*.. Now then where was I … ah yes sorry can’t talk must go to meeting…

I think you get the idea.

But the bleeding thing will work even if I have to die to do it.

Aaaaaaand… on to some good news for a change. Well, good I think. I’ve been offered told I have a position in a new problem solving team. Yay(tm). Now I can be the only person to know the product in a team of 5, 2 of which are contractors, another one which is earmarked to work on something specific for the next 2 months and another who people think may not be quite up to par. And of course, I am not given any more authority, just responsibility. Someone else is over me, which is good. I like the guy. Pity I couldn’t get some leadership opportunities. I was told this was my chance to shine. I shine anyway compared to some dull metal we got lying about in there I’ll tell you that. But let’s not get too negative, I prefer to stick with it. It’s either that or lick ass, which sucks.

On to next whinge….

I take five minutes to help a friend at work and in comes the lead and orders me back. No ‘can I speak to you privately’ or something like that. So I just got up, apologised to my friend and left. Next thing I know the lead is spending 15 minutes chatting about something in a magazine with a senior while I was working. Cool heh? I guess there is a minimum of one w****r in every workplace. Hopefully in the new team I will manage to put some distance between us.

Enough for now, I’ll start getting a bit more interesting in the future, promise 🙂

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